


Pizza and Pillow Fights

by JazziGirl



Series: Brotherly Love [5]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Adorable, Childishness, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Fluffier Than Cotton Candy, James Lives, Lancelot Lives, M/M, Making Out, Movie Night, Multi, Pillow & Blanket Forts, Pillow Fights, Pizza, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Sleepy Cuddles, james and eggsy are home alone, seriously they're like children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 14:54:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4483613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JazziGirl/pseuds/JazziGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Percival and Gawain are out of town so Eggsy and James have the flat to themselves. Eggsy decides to educate James on some of the finer points of modern culture.</p><p>James being as cheesy as the pizza. Eggsy acting like he's still 12. Mucho fluff. May make you want pizza.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pizza and Pillow Fights

**Author's Note:**

  * For [evlara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evlara/gifts).



> This work falls after another WIP I have not posted yet in the Brotherly Love series. It will be part 5 in the series, but you don't have to have read the other works for this to make sense. Just know that Eggsy has been introduced into the poly family unit and he's their precious baby boy.

Eggsy slumped on the couch, book discarded to the side as he relaxed to some Pantera blasting through the speakers. It had been a long day at work despite coming home early (Merlin swore he wasn't coddling Eggsy, but that was a lie), and he was ready for some good family time and food when the others got home. Maybe Alastair would make some of those Swedish meatballs he was so good at, if Eggsy asked nicely.

The front door slammed shut and Eggsy sat up, snatching the remote off the side table to pause the music. "Hello?" He shouted.

"Hello, Eggsy!" James' bright voice answered him. Eggsy groaned. How did he manage to have that much energy after a full workday? Eggsy just did not understand.

"Where are the others?" Eggsy asked. The three men usually came home together.

"Percival is in some Middle Eastern country to take down a terrorist group, and Gawain is off in Albania, I believe, to get some information off a count. Or duke. Or whatever titles they have over there, I never did get all that straight." James rambled as he stripped off his jacket, vest, and shoulder holsters. "So it's just going to be the two of us for the next couple of days!" He waggled his eyebrows at Eggsy. "Any thoughts on how we could pass the time?"

Eggsy threw a pillow at James' smirking face. "Well for starters, we can figure out what we're doing for dinner since we've both been banned from the kitchen after that incident last month, with the pancakes..."

James' face dropped. "Oh shit." He said. "I mean, no one would know if we did..."

Eggsy raised his eyebrows. "You don't think the lack of a house and a giant plume of smoke would give it away?"

James stuck his tongue out at Eggsy. "All right then, smart arse, what do you suggest?"

Eggsy got a gleam in his eye.

***  
"Hi, I have a delivery for... Eggsy?" The delivery guy looked up at the grinning boy in front of him.

"That's me! What have we got?" Eggsy held out his arms for the pizzas.

"Right, we have two medium pepperoni, two Meat Lover's, one Hawaiian, a Supreme, and a two litre Coke." The man recited, handing them all over as he listed them off. "And that'll be £42."

Eggsy handed over a £50 note and waved him off when the man tried to pull out change for him. He quickly scooped everything up and making his way back into the living room where James was waiting on the couch with a pile of blankets and pillows, drink in hand and utterly bemused.

"I still don't understand why they're called Pizza Hut." James said as Eggsy laid out their feast on the ground in front of the couch. "They aren't even in a hut, why would they call themselves that? It sounds utterly derogatory."

"Yeah, well, I don't understand how you've never heard of Pizza Hut before. It's a religion, it is." Eggsy turned to face James. "Now help me lay out these blankets so we can start the movie."

James groaned. "Must I get up? It's so comfortable!" He flopped dramatically over the blankets, being careful not to spill a drop of the '82 Glendronach balanced perfectly in his hand.

Eggsy glared at him before walking over and snatched the drink from his hand while simultaneously yanking out a blanket from underneath James, who let out a yelp as he tumbled to the floor. "Well, you're more than welcome to just lay there but you'll probably end up with a blanket over your face." Eggsy spoke down to James, smirking as he tossed the first blanket to middle of their living room floor.

"You are a terribly evil child." James said with a deadpan face. Eggsy just shrugged before taking the proffered hand and helping him up.

"You wouldn't put up with it if you didn't love me," Eggsy said cheekily. 

James chuckled. "Fair point." He said, leaning over to kiss Eggsy on the forehead before snatching his drink back for a sip. "Let me set this down so I can help you."

Eggsy grinned triumphantly as he started pulling out some of the pillows and laying them on top of the first blanket. James came back from the small bar and, after flipping the overhead light off so the room was illuminated by the glow of the TV, helped Eggsy layer the blankets and pillows together until there was a perfect nest on the floor. They smiled at each other, admiring their handiwork before stepping over to grab their feast and flop into their nest.

"Now what are we watching again?" James asked, purveying the assortment of pizzas in front of him and wondering what the hell he was supposed to eat.

"One of the most awful and wonderful movies you'll ever see in your life." Eggsy replied, pulling the top blanket across their laps before he grabbed a box and set it in James' lap. "Eat that one first."

James opened the box to see a big pizza covered with a ton of different meats. Hesitantly, he lifted up one piping hot piece and looked it over. "Are you sure this won't kill me? Because I rather think Alastair would cut you in half if I died again at your hands."

Eggsy laughed through his mouthful of pizza. "I swear on your first grave, it will not kill you. Not today, at least." 

James gave Eggsy a doubtful look before he hesitantly bit into the slice of pizza. He chewed slowly.

"Well? How is it?" Eggsy prompted him, watching for a reaction. James rolled his eyes.

“Christ, Eggsy, I know I’ve not had Pizza Hut before but I’m not entirely alien to the whole pizza thing.” He swallowed before taking another bite.

“I know that, you numpty, but this is Pizza Hut. It’s not just normal pizza.” Eggsy reached over to pull a slice off of his own pie. “So what, do you now understand the answer to life, the universe, and everything?”

“Surprisingly, no.” James’ voice was dripping with sarcasm. “I’m a bit disappointed, you painted this to be a life-changing experience and it’s just… pizza.”

Eggsy choked on his bite. “Just pizza?! This is not just pizza, this is Pizza Hut, the fucking god of pizza. I’m pretty sure there’s an entire religion out there that’s dedicated to Pizza Hut. Google it, you’ll see that I’m right.”

James shook his head, laughing as he swallowed. “Eggsy, I say again: It is just pizza. It’s just like any other combination of cheese and dough. Throw in a little tomato sauce, and it’s a party!”

Eggsy grumbled. “Whatever, I still know it’s the greatest pizza ever.” He reached across James to grab the remote. “Now are you ready to start this?”

James nodded enthusiastically. “Bring it.” Eggsy grinned and hit play, leaning back against the pillows with his pizza as the movie started.

“This is your lunch, OK? I put a dollar in there so you can buy some milk; you can ask one of the big kids where to do that. Do you remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you just in case. Put it in your pocket, I don't want you to lose it. OK? You ready?”

******

Two pizzas each, two glasses of whiskey, and a litre of Coke later, Eggsy fell to his side laughing while James shouted.

“What the FUCK was that? Did she actually get hit by a bus?! How does that even happen? What the fuck is this shit, Eggsy?!” He turned to Eggsy, setting down his empty glass just off the blankets. Eggsy held up a finger in the universal motion for “give me a second” as he struggled to stop laughing long enough to catch his breath.

“James, if you keep yelling at me you’re going to miss what happens!” Eggsy spluttered out, pulling himself into an upright position. “You’re taking this way too seriously. It’s Mean Girls, for fuck’s sake. Just watch.”

James huffed and flopped dramatically over Eggsy’s lap. “This film does not make sense to me.” He grumbled. Eggsy laughed again, running his hand through James’ hair before leaning back against the pillows. James scooted up Eggsy’s body until his head found the soft firmness of Eggsy’s stomach. He pushed the blanket out of the way and snuggled his face against the worn teeshirt Eggsy wore as his pajama top, facing the boy and ignoring the TV still running behind him.

“Your confusion when it comes to high-end comedy like this is fuckin’ adorable.” Eggsy said, lightly scratching his fingers against James’ scalp.

“Glad to know that my discomfort is amusing to you,” James grumbled, smiling despite himself at the soothing motion of Eggsy’s fingers.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you get those cute wrinkly bits on your forehead when you get confused.” Eggsy grinned down at him. James gasped and put on an impressive pout.

“I do not get wrinkly bits, and I take offense at the implication that I have wrinkles. I’m not that old!” James whined. Eggsy raised his eyebrows at James.

“Oh really? Then what do you call these?” He detached his hand from James’ hair and ran a finger over one of the creases in James’ forehead.

“Those are just laughter lines!” James protested. “You have them too.” He reached out for Eggsy’s forehead but Eggsy intercepted the hand, instead guiding it to his mouth to kiss it.

“Whatever you say, old man.” Eggsy grinned cheekily, letting the hand go. James spluttered. 

“Old man? You cheeky little brat-” James sat bolt upright. “Do I need to prove to you just how wrong that statement is?”

Eggsy raised one brow at James, not moving from his reclining position. “Well I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to that, but you might want to move the pizza boxes out of the way so we don’t make too much of a mess. If you can be bothered to move that much, that is.”

James growled and shoved the pizza boxes to the side, throwing a leg over Eggsy’s hips and dropping down so his face was right above the boy’s. “You will never be proven more wrong in your life, my boy.” He spoke, letting his breath ghost over Eggsy’s lips and watching his eyes flutter shut at that. He pressed a harsh kiss against Eggsy’s mouth, devouring and plundering and commanding. He tasted the pineapple from Eggsy’s last pizza and the spices from the tomato sauce. Eggsy moaned into his mouth, pressing up to get more friction against his lips. James pulled off to give him a cheeky grin.

“Having issues keeping up, sweetheart?” James whispered, earning him a sharp tug to his hips.

“Shut up and kiss me, idiot.” Eggsy pressed an open-mouthed kiss against James’ slightly stubbly jaw, sucking as he pressed his tongue to the skin there. James hummed slightly, arching his neck into the love bite.

“You know, I think I have a better idea.” James said, pulling away and kissing a trail down Eggsy’s neck and chest. Stopping right over his hips, James glanced up at Eggsy as he lifted the edge of his teeshirt. “Close your eyes.” He commanded softly.

Eggsy immediately obeyed. He arched his back slightly, gasping loudly when he felt the harsh scrape of James’ teeth on his skin, followed by a soothing swipe of his tongue. James repeated this process, moving slowly down his stomach until he reached the waistband of Eggsy’s pajama pants. He paused here, hovering with his mouth just over Eggsy’s skin as he breathed, “Want to see just how well I can blow?” Eggsy shivered as he felt a pair of lips touch the skin right about his pants, and then-

“PBBBBBBBTH.”

“Oh my god, you fucking twat.” Eggsy bolted upright, pushing James away from his stomach as they both burst into laughter. “Oh, you think this is funny, do you?” Eggsy grabbed the pillow directly behind his head and took a mighty swing at James’ head, creaming him right in the face. James landed on his arse and sat there stunned for a moment, giving Eggsy enough time to get a proper hold on the pillow again and just start wailing on him.

“Mercy, mercy!” James shouted, covering his face with his arms as Eggsy went to town on him “Sorry, no mercy. Now you pay for being such a bloody tease,” Eggsy said right as he whacked him in the face again. James fell over on his side, curling into a fetal position as he covered his head with his arms. 

“Not the face, I beg of you! It’s my one good feature!” James begged. Eggsy dropped the pillow. “Fine, alright, I won’t hit you anymore.” He sat next to James, reaching over and gently resting his hand on James’ exposed ribs. “I can settle for tickling instead.” 

He started tickling James, earning him a loud squeal as James reached frantically for the discarded pillow in the hopes of stopping the relentless attack on his person. James reached the pillow just as Eggsy tickled him under his arms, and jerked away. WHAP! 

Eggsy sat there for a second after the pillow hit him in the face before bursting into fresh laughter and wrapping himself around James, the two of them trying to catch their breath as they laughed sporadically. Eggsy dropped his head onto James’ shoulder, struggling to catch his breath through his laughter.

“Oh my god,” James said hoarsely, reaching up to wipe at his eyes as he chuckled. “So much for a quiet movie night.” He draped his arms around Eggsy as their laughter slowed to a soft chuckle every now and then.

“Oh bruv, you really thought that was going to happen?” Eggsy snorted, picking his head up to look at James with his eyebrows raised. “Please, please tell me we will break you of the habit of saying that horrible word at some point.” James grumbled at Eggsy.

“Never.” Eggsy said, planting a solid kiss on his lips before shifting down to snuggle against his chest with a sigh. “We have more chance of breaking you of your habit of being a horrible tease and using corny, cheesy lines first. I mean, what the hell was that? ‘Want to see just how well I can blow?’ Really? Where is your sense of originality? The lack of creativity is painful.”

“What, like you could do any better?” James gave him a look. Eggsy rolled over and placed his head by James’ stomach, and with a smoldering look, whispered, “My body is ready.” 

James lost it. “Are you fucking kidding me Eggsy? Is this a competition? Oh my fucking god you’re the worst,” he cackled, tears coming from his eyes as he gasped for breath. Eggsy chuckled against his stomach.

“How about we just agree to never try this whole “talking dirty” thing ever again, for our mutual benefit?” Eggsy looked up at James, who nodded vigorously with a moaned, “God, yes. We’ll leave that to Gawain.” Eggsy nodded in agreement, pulling himself up to snuggle tightly against James’ chest. James pressed his lips to his boy’s hair, inhaling deeply as he relaxed. 

Eggsy hummed softly as he made himself comfortable. “Goodnight, James. Love you.” James closed his eyes in contentment. “Goodnight, little one. I love you too. Sleep well.”

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to my wonderful Betas and brainstormers allthehomoslash, SatansTrueMistress, and castielsmistress for making this possible and guiding my delusional ranting in the right direction to make this what it is.
> 
> This was written for a friend who asked for some James/Eggsy cuddles within the series, so I decided to make a one-shot of it.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and please comment so I can keep getting better at this! ^_^


End file.
